Advice Column, April 1, 2011

To start with, my girlfriend is everything to me and we love each other. The only problem is that my parents hate her. I wouldn’t normally care what my parents think, but they’re funding my college expenses and have threatened to cut me off if I continue seeing her. I have a job, but it’s not nearly enough to pay my tuition and I’m not sure I’m smart enough for many scholarships. What should I do?


Guy Speak: Are you opposed to lying to your parents? It’s obvious that you really care about this girl, and I can understand your anxiety, but it looks to me like the only way you can get both the money for college and stay with your girlfriend is to tell your parents you’ve broken up. The kicker is that you haven’t really done that! I don’t normally condone lying, but in this situation I’m going to make an exception. However, I do not know certain pieces of info, like why your parents hate her, which is important. If there is absolutely no way to get them to tolerate her, then you’ll have to lie and just think of more creative ways to see each other without being discovered. I am a little concerned that your parents are threatening your education, because that’s the rest of your life. In short, if she’s worth the risk (I implore you to think hard about this) and waiting to see her until later is simply not an option, then pull a Romeo and Juliet…without the dying at the end, of course.

Girl Talk: This sounds like a Romeo and Juliet story and we all know how that play ended. Obviously, you must do what is best for your future. If you have already tried to negotiate with your parents and this is their final decision, you must do as you are told. I know you guys love each other but love doesn’t pay the bills. Under the same circumstances, I am sure she would do the same. Neither one of you would be very happy without a secure future. The only option would be if she could pay your tuition if your parents stop paying, but I’m sure she is in no position to do this either. This is one of the times you have to put yourself first. Just remember to be completely honest when you tell her and I am sure she will understand.


I’m getting married next spring, but I have one major problem and that’s this: the wedding preparations are driving us crazy! I’ve made plans for my special day for years, but my fiancé wants something totally different. I don’t want him to be disappointed in our wedding, but I don’t want to be disappointed in my wedding either. It’s almost to the point where I want to just forget about it all and elope. Any advice?

Guy Speak: Compromise. That is what relationships are all about. It’s not your special day, it’s not his special day, it belongs to both of you. It’s all about sacrificing something for your lover. I understand that you want everything to be perfect, but neither of you are going to have the wedding exactly how you want it. Sit down with your hubby-to-be and talk through all the details to figure out together how you can make it both of your weddings, and I’m sure you will figure something out that will make you look back and think, “that was the greatest wedding ever”. Or….have two weddings, and flip a coin to see who goes first. Congratulations, and I wish you happy days together!

Girl Talk: I suggest you sit down and start a compromise. Thoroughly think about what is most important to you and explain to your fiancé why. Next, you should listen to him and ask him to tell you why these things are important to him. You should then decide which things both of you are willing to sacrifice. As for the things that are left, see if there is any way to combine them together. After doing these few, simple things, your wedding day will become reality and closely coincide to your previous vision. Hardly anyone gets the wedding of their dreams, but you can at least have the unique, special details of it. Do not elope, you will be cheating yourself. Good luck to the beautiful bride to be!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: